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The Edge of Never (The Edge of Never, #1)

The Edge of Never (The Edge of Never, #1) - J.A. Redmerski There will be spoilers in my review, but nothing that you don't learn from the characters early-on.

(Edited 12/21/12 to include this picture that reminds me of Cam & Andrew)
To lovers and dreamers and anyone who hasn't truly experienced either.

That quote, from the dedication page of The Edge of Never, caught my eye immediately and I knew, if the book was half as good as its dedication, I was in for a treat!

Cam and Andrew are on a journey, both literally and metaphorically. Cam's running from tragedies that have built up and she's feeling like she doesn't truly know who she is. There's a deep connection I feel with Cam, having also lost my first love to death at 16, so I know the frame of mind Cam's in at the start of The Edge of Never. Something like that can emotionally break you, and has broken Cam. She can't cry, she doesn't dream, she doesn't believe in herself. Cam's also dealing with her parents' divorce, her brother's incarceration, and her best friend's boyfriend who suddenly goes off the rails announcing his desire for her. When she tells Natalie (the BFF), Nat responds with all the hostility you expect from an insecure girl. Cam gets on a Greyhound to Idaho (because they're famous for potatoes, lol) and so her journey begins, and soon she crosses paths with Andrew, who's own tragedies have sent him running...

Not since Tammara Webber's [b:Easy|13548456|Easy|Tammara Webber|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1342983117s/13548456.jpg|19113823], have I been so enamored with a young adult hero. Andrew is that boy--you know the one--who has tattoos, lives life to its fullest, isn't afraid to rough-up bad guys (yes, it happens!), seems like an open-book, but there's something mysterious about the guy that you just can't put your finger on, and OH MY GOD, he's so damn cute (dare I say sexy, yes I dare!), that I can hardly stand it.

Cam and Andrew's relationship begins as a friendship they both really need. Andrew is on his way to Wyoming to see his dying father. Cam is the perfect distraction for him. But once they get to Wyoming, things happen (boy do they!), and their journeys become one.

“If you were to let me fuck you, you would have to let me own you.” - Andrew

There are really two parts to this book. The first half, which I fondly think of as the sweet, sometimes sexy, Greyhound to Nowhere section. And the second half, which I very fondly think of as the OMG Am I Reading the Same Book(!?!?!) section, lol. Cam and Andrew's relationship becomes intimate, and these two are definitely budding BDSMers! Wowza! But besides all the heat, they really have an ultimate road trip with Andrew showing Cam the true meaning of living.

Andrew: “Well, everybody needs help feeling alive again every once in a while.”
“No,” she says seriously, and my gaze falls back on hers, “I didn’t say again, Andrew; for making me feel alive for the first time.”

But let me tell you, J.A. Redmerski pulls out an ending I didn't fully see coming until it was too late. I am not lying to you -- the tears wouldn't stop flowing and, at one point, I was crying so hard I had to put down the book and go to the bathroom to clean up the hot mess I'd become! SO EMOTIONAL, BEAUTIFUL, POIGNANT, ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING! The ending is one I will not forget--ever--and, most certainly, is the reason this book places on my best of 2012 list!

"You dwell on the past, you can't move forward. Spend too much time planning for the future and you just push yourself backwards, or you stay stagnant in the same place all your life." His eyes lock on mine. "Live in the moment..." - Andrew

Please, don't let the emotional ending scare you away. I promise I would go through EVERY SINGLE TEAR to get to that beautifully-written ending again.

BTW: I now have a playlist on my iPod named after this book! GREAT MUSIC!!!